Mushrooms

ode to hero who first feasted on fleshy, fungal growths. mushrooms are more closely related to human beings than they are to plants. So what on earth possessed us to start gobbling them up? first person who ever came upon mushroom could be forgiven for stomping it into ground.
Get back, you rubbery demon! Back into bowels of hell from whence you came! But they didn’t. They popped it in their mouths. And now, here we all are, stuffing mushrooms with couscous, simmering them in risotto, and scoffing fried mounds of things with sausages, eggs, and plenty of ketchup.
So here at Hellman’s, we’d like to raise our glasses to this pioneering picker of mushrooms.

Because at Hellman’s, we’re on side of food.